You may recall seeing that on all those flashing highway
signs a few months back. First they’d
flash, CHANGING LANES? Then they’d
flash, USE YAH BLINKAH!
The message went viral and MassDOT reaped a ton of favorable
publicity.Now the agency has launched a contest asking the public “to get creative and help stop bad behavior behind the wheel.” They want us to submit catchy messages in one or all of following categories: Road Rage, Distracted Driving, and Seatbelt Use.
There will be one winner in each category, with winners
receiving various gift cards from vendors at the service plazas on state
highways. The winning slogans will be
displayed on hundreds of message boards around the state, according to this staggered
schedule:
- Road Rage Winner, August 15-18 (MassDOT says that, based on 2013 toll data, this is “a top 10 travel weekend.”)
- Distracted Driving Winner, Labor Day Weekend
- Seatbelt Use Winner, Columbus Day Weekend
I think I could handle the space limitations. But I’m not
confident of my ability to achieve the proper tone, and not all that eager to
try for it. Something about driving on
crowded highways dominated by overly aggressive drivers inevitably brings out my dark side. Even thinking about it gets me agitated.
In a looser, less repressed world, a world, say, where every
place was like New York City at rush hour, contests like MassDOT’s would at
least give honorable mentions to those who eschewed “cute.” Until that world materializes, I will have to content
myself with blog posting not-ready-for-prime-roadways messages, stuff like this:
ROAD
RAGE
LEADS TORAGE
EARLY
ONSET
DEMENTIA
YO,
BIRD
BRAIN!
GET OFFTHE DAMN
PHONE
IRRITATE
LIBER-
TARIANS:
WEAR
YOUR
SEATBELT
POSTSCRIPT & UPDATE: Here are the actual winners in the Highway Message Board Contest, as announced by MassDOT on August 14:
Road Rage Category
KEEP
CALM
AND
DRIVE
ON
Distracted Driving Category
PUT DOWN
THE PHONE
YOUR LOLs
AND OMGs
CAN WAIT
Seat Belt Use Category
MAKE
YAH MA
PROUD
WEAR
YAH
SEATBELT
POSTSCRIPT & UPDATE: Here are the actual winners in the Highway Message Board Contest, as announced by MassDOT on August 14:
Road Rage Category
KEEP
CALM
AND
DRIVE
ON
Distracted Driving Category
PUT DOWN
THE PHONE
YOUR LOLs
AND OMGs
CAN WAIT
Seat Belt Use Category
MAKE
YAH MA
PROUD
WEAR
YAH
SEATBELT